Two problems w/ the accusation;
1. we’re asking for intercessory prayer. whatever a saint does for us is because God permits it.
2. the saints in heaven are not dead. As Christians we believe in life after death.So of course they’re not dead. They’re with God.They are more alive than we are.
3. We don’t pray to our deceased family members.We pray FOR them.
“the twenty-four elders [the leaders of the people of God in heaven] fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and with golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints” (Rev. 5:8).